Putting the Shame back into Shaman
Hello and welcome to my very own column here at The Lockwood Echo. I’m a Clairvoyant and Misfortune-Teller, descended from a long line of mystics that can be traced back through the ages to 1973.
I have been the Teller of Misfortune since 5pm last Wednesday and also write Horrorscopes. I own 3 decks of Tarot Cards; I don’t read them, but they do liven up a game of Gin Rummy.
If you prefer, I can tell your misfortune using the traditional art of Tea Leaf Reading. Although, having had my Food Hygiene Certificate rescinded, I’m no longer allowed to make tea for paying clients, but if you’d like to bring your own teabag we can give it a quick soak under the tap and tear it open into a cup. The results are pretty much the same, but I do offer a discount if using a supermarket own brand as the readings can be a bit vague.
I also offer Palm Readings, though I will ask you to wash your hands first as a little touch of syphilis last year has left me with a slightly vulnerable immune system. And not everyone likes carbolic soap, so you’re more than welcome to bring your own.
Do bookmark my column for future insights and hindsights into your impending misfortune. It’s always useful to know when you are definitely in for a bad day so that you can pop that extra Valium and have your hip-flask filled and ready to hand.
Madame Charlatan
Putting the Shame back into Shaman
If you’re feeling brave, put your tongue in your cheek and set your stomach to ‘cast-iron’. Madame Charlatan’s world will unfold as you read from the top down, but each chapter stands alone, wherever you choose to lunge.
This made me laugh!! ‘they do liven up a game of Gin Rummy’ haha!! Hilarious!
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Thankyou 🙂 Madame Charlatan has been knocking around in my head for a very long time, long before the idea of doing a blog. So when I got going with The Lockwood Echo, I knew it’d be the perfect home for her. You should go meet Old Mother Charlatan, she’s quite a character……. 😉
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😂 I think I just might!
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Chortling, very funny. I’ll be reading more.
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Thankyou. She certainly is one of a kind. Causes me no end of bother here at The Echo 😉 You never know what she’s going to say, do, or heaven forbid ‘cook’ next! I will pop over for a visit as soon as I have more time 🙂
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