Madame Charlatan. Telling Misfortunes under a fog of musk and a cloud of fag-ash…….
Our readers have been enquiring how much it costs to have their Misfortune told. Well, that depends on how much Misfortune I see during a reading. ‘Losing your keys’ will probably only set you back a fiver, then obviously the cost of a locksmith. But if I see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in your near future, that’s going to set you back a pretty penny. The intensity of Conquest, War, Famine and Death riding roughshod through my Chakras can be mentally and physically exhausting. It can take several weeks of recuperation to restore my spiritual balance. I usually retreat to a B&B on the seafront at Great Yarmouth for such purposes. It’s a little shabby, but there’s a delightful selection of marmalades for breakfast and I’ve only twice left there with scabies. Either way, the cost of recuperation, the B&B, the subsequent loss of earnings whilst I convalesce, all has to be covered, so I recommend you bring a credit card along to your reading, just in case catastrophe is on your horizon. If you don’t hold a credit card, maybe the deeds to your house, keys to your car? Assuming you can find them. And if you can’t, that will be £5 please.
Putting the Shame back into Shaman