Good afternoon everyone and welcome to week five of Job Club.
Having had a crack at compiling a CV last week, we will now look ahead to what you can expect at a job interview. Obviously, how much effort you put in will depend on how much you want the job. If you don’t want the job, just don’t turn up for the interview. They’ll get the message. And they’ll appreciate that you’ve saved them time not having to talk to you about a position you have absolutely no interest in. But let’s now assume you’re going for an interview and you actually would like the job. What are the important factors to bear in mind?
1. Check you are turning up for the correct interview. If you have more than one application pending, given the hazy state of the unemployed mind, it’s an easy mistake to arrive for the wrong interview. YOU will know what job you’ve applied for, but if you’ve arrived for the wrong one, your interviewer won’t. And making them look stupid from the outset is unlikely to score you highly. Colour-code your applications if necessary to help you distinguish between them.
2. Dress-code; If you’ve been out of work for a while, the routine of getting dressed for the daytime may have become blurred and vague. Please ensure you do a head to toe check before you leave the house. No pyjama tops, no slippers, and always worth a quick look to make sure you’ve put on underwear. The prospective new employer is unlikely to see it (depending on what job you’re applying for or how you plan to secure it), but you will be stepping outside and therefore are increasing the risk of accident and attention from emergency personnel. So clean undies are a must.
3. At the interview; First impressions count. Try not to wipe your nose on your sleeve, snort up catarrh from your boots or scratch your head then check your fingernails. In the outside world these are all frowned upon. Speak clearly when answering questions and smile, but in a friendly non-creepy way. Employers will want to see you will take the role seriously but also that you’re amiable and will get along well with all ranks of staff. Try not to mutter snide remarks under your breath as you are likely to be heard if the situation is one to one. If you were Genghis Khan in a former life, you may find yourself paying for those misdemeanours by facing a Panel Interview. This is not to be confused with a Panel Game. Although there are some similarities; there won’t be any prizes or money to be won, but there’s likely to be much degradation, humiliation and questions that will leave you wishing the floor would swallow you whole.
4. After the interview; The distress of the whole process will leave you wanting to vomit. Try your very best to hang on to that and all other bodily fluids until you’ve completed the ‘Thankyou for seeing me, I look forward to hearing from you’ act. Even if you did well, the interviewer is unlikely to want to take a piece of you away with them.
Well, I hope that’s given everyone something to think on. Remember, the interview process is likely to emphasise your feeling of indignity and shame, so it’s important to prepare yourself. And if there are no questions, I will see you all at next week’s Job Club.
The Lockwood Echo 