Verrucas & Vol-au-vents

Madame Charlatan. Telling Misfortunes under a fog of musk and a cloud of fag-ash…….

I’ve had a letter back from the Council to say they are prepared to reinstate my Food Hygiene Certificate if I take a refresher course. You may know that I had my Certificate rescinded. It was a misunderstanding over some vol-au-vents at last year’s summer fete. I swear to this day I over-peppered the mushy-pea filling, but some said it looked and tasted like fag-ash. It all got a bit ugly. Words were said, vol-au-vents were thrown and after an inspection of my food preparation area (I say ‘area’ as it’s just a tea tray on top of my washing machine), the Environmental Health Department took the side of the complainants. Of which there were apparently 17.

age_bacteria_bio_biology_6The refresher course is only a couple of hours next Wednesday afternoon, which is handy as I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning for a rather stubborn verruca, so that will give me time to hobble along after.

I use to offer a complimentary egg & cress sandwich during my readings. A nice little personal touch which I think my clients appreciated whilst having their Misfortune told. It helped settle the stomach. Well, not according to the complaints, but like I say, it was all a misunderstanding. And to show goodwill, I did offer a refund to cover the cost of the Milk of Magnesia. So complimentary egg & cress sandwiches again courtesy of Madame Charlatan if you’re booked in after next Wednesday.

In anticipation of having the aforementioned Certificate reinstated, I am putting together a little soirée. Details are yet to be finalised but there will be food and Misfortune-Telling, just to give you a bit of an idea of what to expect. It will be a ticketed event; I can’t be putting Fig Rolls on a plate for free. Look out for full details coming soon.

Madame Charlatan
Putting the Shame back into Shaman

MADAME CHARLATAN (here it begins)

Cross My Palm With Silver

Old Mother Charlatan

Verrucas & Vol-au-vents (you are here)

Fondue & Fortune

The Aftermath

A Charlatan Christmas

The Charlatan Caravan

A Charlatan Challenge

Granny Charlatan

A Charlatan Funeral

A Charlatan Farewell


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