Madame Charlatan. Telling Misfortunes under a fog of musk and a cloud of fag-ash…….
I’ve had a letter back from the Council to say they are prepared to reinstate my Food Hygiene Certificate if I take a refresher course. You may know that I had my Certificate rescinded. It was a misunderstanding over some vol-au-vents at last year’s summer fete. I swear to this day I over-peppered the mushy-pea filling, but some said it looked and tasted like fag-ash. It all got a bit ugly. Words were said, vol-au-vents were thrown and after an inspection of my food preparation area (I say ‘area’ as it’s just a tea tray on top of my washing machine), the Environmental Health Department took the side of the complainants. Of which there were apparently 17.
The refresher course is only a couple of hours next Wednesday afternoon, which is handy as I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning for a rather stubborn verruca, so that will give me time to hobble along after.
I use to offer a complimentary egg & cress sandwich during my readings. A nice little personal touch which I think my clients appreciated whilst having their Misfortune told. It helped settle the stomach. Well, not according to the complaints, but like I say, it was all a misunderstanding. And to show goodwill, I did offer a refund to cover the cost of the Milk of Magnesia. So complimentary egg & cress sandwiches again courtesy of Madame Charlatan if you’re booked in after next Wednesday.
In anticipation of having the aforementioned Certificate reinstated, I am putting together a little soirée. Details are yet to be finalised but there will be food and Misfortune-Telling, just to give you a bit of an idea of what to expect. It will be a ticketed event; I can’t be putting Fig Rolls on a plate for free. Look out for full details coming soon.
Madame Charlatan
Putting the Shame back into Shaman
MADAME CHARLATAN (here it begins)
Verrucas & Vol-au-vents (you are here)
The Lockwood Echo 
I’m passing on my misfortune of eating your repast. Let’s skip it and not get food poisoning. 🙂
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That is a very wise decision on your part 😉
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