Nothing to see here.
Perhaps I dreamt it. No, I’m sure it happened. My little ‘won’t win any literary awards it was just for fun however it did get chosen by one of the funniest ladies in the land and it really did appear in a bona-fide e-book available to download for free from Amazon’ piece that I wrote and submitted, is no longer available to view. And it’s no longer available to download for free from Amazon. (Breathe).
Like the star that I wished upon, it burned bright and brief, then fizzled out till there was nothing left to see. Oh well.
But what to do with the now broken links dotted around The Lockwood Echo? Well, they now lead you here. And lacking any contractual obligation and still retaining full copyright, here is my little piece that really ‘won’t win any literary awards it was just for fun however it did get chosen by one of the funniest ladies in the land and it really WAS in a bona-fide e-book available to download for free from Amazon’.
The background; an invitation from Dawn French to write some advice or share experiences as she reached her 60th birthday. The resulting e-book (Me. You. A Diary.) paved the way and heralded her upcoming new publication ‘You. Me. A Diary.’
My giddy announcement on learning of my inclusion can be read here in this Newsflash.
My contribution went like this;
No, not that one. At our age, that change is no surprise. What I’m more mindful of is the change that has crept up and evolved me as a person. The way I act, interact, feel and think. And not always for the better!
There’s the anticipated change;
Ticking a different box when filling out forms that ask for my age.
My preference for a knicker with a full length/width gusset.
Having to mentally go through the alphabet to jog someone’s name to mind. Mid-conversation!
More time spent looking at comfy shoes, less time spent in Top Shop.
The unexpected change;
My lack of trust for anyone wearing a big coat on a hot day.
My growing obsession for a souvenir tea-towel.
The absence of self-respect that allows me to be seen in public looking like I got dressed in the dark.
My ability to say anything using just my eyebrows.
Then there’s the lamentable acceptance of what I cannot change;
I will never again be able to leapfrog over a bollard.
I will never be the Lamb’s Navy Rum girl.
It’s unlikely that anyone will resurrect the Texan bar.
I will never stop missing my Grandma.
And now that I’m aware of all that, what would I tell my younger self?
‘That it’s all going to be ok. Change will happen, but you are now equipped to deal with everything else that life will throw your way.’
So whatever life does throw at you, I hope you get some great catches. And for the curveballs? Well, that’s why laughter was invented.