I’ve decided to have a Yard Sale. I need to get rid of some of the contents of my mind. In the UK we’d usually have a Car Boot Sale, but they charge you for your pitch and I run the risk of not making my money back. Research into how much can be made from selling secondhand thoughts has drawn a blank (there is some irony in there somewhere), so I’m trading my wares unaware, as it were. And I’m trading them off my front doorstep. That way I can spread out all I have to offer in the sanctuary of my own front yard, reducing the risk of any thoughts being lost before I put them up for sale. I will put some netting up along the end of the driveway just to stop any running out into the road and getting hurt. I already have quite a long list of painful memories to sell, I probably don’t want to add to it. I imagine it’s the fun and happy flashbacks that will be snapped up first.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m offering all unwanted items, but it’s becoming very clear that I do need to make some room in my head for new ideas and information. I constantly find myself stuck in a cranial traffic jam. Crossroads, signals, diversions, all hindering the journey. Little chance of a memory from 1975 finding its way through to 2017, let alone my memorising a recent event. My head is just one big car park, filled with noxious fumes and flashing lights,

So, what’s up for grabs? Well, amongst the most reliable and stable of my memories are all the words to ‘Last Night a DJ Saved My life’. I could really do with this one going. As big a fan as I am of the song, it comes to the forefront way too often. Recalling anything obvious, simple or recent, is usually a futile exercise. ‘What did I have for tea yesterday?’, Where did I put the key for the electric meter?’, ‘What’s the name of the woman who played the dead one’s Mum in that film we watched last weekend? You know, she used to be in that advert for the yoghurt. No not that yoghurt, the one with the fruit in. Oh what’s that called? Anyway, she used to always pop up on quiz shows. CHUFFIN FUDGE NUGGETS WHAT’S HER NAME?!’ But immediately after the madness recedes from not being able to remember the *insert forgotten item here*, my head instantly muses; ‘You can’t recall the *insert forgotten item here*, yet you still know all the words to ‘Last Night a DJ Saved My Life’. A song that you hardly ever hear and is now 35 years old. Extraordinary.’ Yes, it is extraordinary. And then my head sings it all the way through, from that funky guitar intro, bolstered by that head bobbing bass, right on to the end, complete with ringing telephone and screeching car tyre sound effects. Even if I sell that memory, I suspect it’s ingrained in my DNA now and I will never be truly rid of it. I guess I gotta get up, I gotta get up, I gotta get down Girl…….

I can see you’re possibly interested in making a purchase, so what else can I tempt you with? There are numerous other song lyrics available. I know you can find these online for free, but none of those will have the particular and peculiar repetitions my brain has afforded them. It’s also likely that any songs you find online will also be accompanied by the correct tune. What I offer will be unique. You’ll find the songs at my Yard Sale in the Lucky Dip Basket. I can’t guarantee what you’ll walk away with. A stuck song is a random beast. You never know what you’ll get. Or when. They’ll all come with the caveat ‘contents may vary from description’.

For those of you who are made from strong ethical and social fibre, I have a selection of ruminations on Modern Consumerism. I’m not a sophisticated thinker, most of my thoughts and opinions are governed by gut instinct. But this particular collection of thoughts often ties me up in knots as I throw around the pros and cons of a capitalist society. I end up feeling guilty and ashamed of my own greed as I look around and witness the world’s real needs. So, unable to reconcile all the conflict this set of thoughts provoke, maybe it’s time I let them go and have them scrutinised by someone with political clout and the power for change.

On a lighter note; there will be some great memories of 1980s films. I own many of them on video, the true medium of its time, so am now happy for someone else to reminisce with the extensive collection I’ve made in my head over the years. Almost everything that featured Rob Lowe and some classic Harry Dean Stanton. It’s probably going to be one of the largest lots on offer, so I may break it down into more affordable cerebral chunks; ‘John Carpenter Films’, ‘Classic Brat Pack’ etc.

I’ll also be offering a fab little Brain Game. It has the potential to unlock a few surprises so may put this one up for auction. I have many unused/unrecalled passwords floating around in the old grey matter. What the blazes they relate to, I have long forgotten. They’ll go out to the highest bidder as a job lot. Much fun to be had there, seeking out lost accounts/credit cards/deposit boxes. So for anyone who likes a challenge and keen to claim any amount of ‘sign up now for your exclusive free gift’ tat, this is one you’ll not want to miss.

Well, my head feels lighter already. I do hope you’ll find time to come along and have a rummage through my thoughts. I have scoops, but you may need to bring your own bags. If there’s something you want but can’t see, please do ask, as there’s much more going on in my frontal lobe than it seems. I may have just the perfect thought for you. And if I’ve already thunked it, you’re welcome to it.

You are now reading the updated version of this post to which I’ve included the video of the aforementioned ‘Last Night a DJ Saved My Life’. Hoping to demonstrate that my memorised lyrics will make a truly wonderful investment. Don’t go to lyric websites, all they can offer is the written word. The version in my head has occasional added harmonies and more than the originally offered sound effects. And to borrow a classic Eric Morecambe joke – I have indeed remembered all the right words – just not necessarily in the right order! Enjoy 😉

Inspired by my post PUNK