Last Christmas I was made redundant. It was a bit shit.
Welcome to my Christmas Redundancy Diary. It’s a cracker.
You may like to read my introduction, or just dive straight in. But please wear a wetsuit, some of my comments are icy cold…….
Breakfast; All out of Vimto Fudge. Had been relying on the Vimto for Vitamin C. Thankfully found some seaweed flavoured crisps. Simply cannot let my well-being deteriorate.
Despite being jobless, I feel it’s important to maintain some kind of normality. It would be so easy to let routine slip and descend into a lazy confusion of days. To prevent that happening and having spent 5 consecutive days unemployed, I’m looking forward to a weekend off. And because I used to work weekends, it will be an extra special treat to be at home all day doing very little. So, with a bit of planning and preparation, I intend to spend today and tomorrow in that vein. I’ve drawn up a checklist of everything I need to make my weekend one to remember;
1. Tuc Biscuits
3. 73 teabags
4. Got a few hours to get through so have lined up some videos*; ‘The Postman’, ‘One Night at McCool’s’, ‘Badlands’, ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ and ‘The Mexican’. Humour, action, social comment, post-apocalyptic mail delivery and some all important eye candy. Wanted to include ‘Legends of the Fall’, but that’s a whole day in itself due to the number of times I have to ‘freeze-frame’.
* This is not a typo. Videos. Bona-fide chunky clunky warbly distorted videos.
5. Fully charged laptop for Bingo. You may think that frittering away money I don’t have isn’t wise. Maybe you’re right, but don’t I deserve a little fun and ‘me’ time whilst I’m at home doing nothing? And besides, I made 60p doing another online survey yesterday so I’ll spend my hard-earned cash as I please thankyouverymuch!
Well, I’m all set then. Bring on ‘Le Weekend’. Very excited.
9 hours later……..
A tad disappointed. My weekend isn’t feeling very much different to my unemployed weekdays. Perhaps I didn’t plan well enough. Maybe I’ve missed something…….
I’m using artistic licence with the chronology, throwing in extra vowels and consonants for a fun, enjoyable read.
However, all events and breakfasts are accurately portrayed.
If you are employed or otherwise content and stable with your work/life/domestic situation, please pop over to WANTED. NOT WANTED. where you can have a smug, self-righteous, cosy giggle at my crumbling self-esteem. You’ll find my self-initiated Job Club, my ridiculous misguided applications for ANY kind of work and my redundancy diary, a revealing look into the day to day life of
the lowlife worthless pits of humanity the unemployed. If you are not content and stable with your work/life/domestic situation, then let’s hold hands and stick our tongues out at the rest of the world. But you still have to go read all the stuff.