Last Christmas I was made redundant. It was a bit shit.
Welcome to my Christmas Redundancy Diary. It’s a cracker.
You may like to read my introduction, or just dive straight in. But please wear a wetsuit, some of my comments are icy cold…….

DAY SIX

Breakfast; All out of Vimto Fudge. Had been relying on the Vimto for Vitamin C. Thankfully found some seaweed flavoured crisps. Simply cannot let my well-being deteriorate.

Despite being jobless, I feel it’s important to maintain some kind of normality. It would be so easy to let routine slip and descend into a lazy confusion of days. To prevent that happening and having spent 5 consecutive days unemployed, I’m looking forward to a weekend off. And because I used to work weekends, it will be an extra special treat to be at home all day doing very little. So, with a bit of planning and preparation, I intend to spend today and tomorrow in that vein. I’ve drawn up a checklist of everything I need to make my weekend one to remember;

1. Tuc Biscuits

2. Blankie

3. 73 teabags

4. Got a few hours to get through so have lined up some videos*; ‘The Postman’, ‘One Night at McCool’s’, ‘Badlands’, ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ and ‘The Mexican’. Humour, action, social comment, post-apocalyptic mail delivery and some all important eye candy. Wanted to include ‘Legends of the Fall’, but that’s a whole day in itself due to the number of times I have to ‘freeze-frame’.
* This is not a typo. Videos. Bona-fide chunky clunky warbly distorted videos.

5. Fully charged laptop for Bingo. You may think that frittering away money I don’t have isn’t wise. Maybe you’re right, but don’t I deserve a little fun and ‘me’ time whilst I’m at home doing nothing? And besides, I made 60p doing another online survey yesterday so I’ll spend my hard-earned cash as I please thankyouverymuch!

Well, I’m all set then. Bring on ‘Le Weekend’. Very excited.

9 hours later……..

A tad disappointed. My weekend isn’t feeling very much different to my unemployed weekdays. Perhaps I didn’t plan well enough. Maybe I’ve missed something…….

I’m using artistic licence with the chronology, throwing in extra vowels and consonants for a fun, enjoyable read.
However, all events and breakfasts are accurately portrayed.

If you are employed or otherwise content and stable with your work/life/domestic situation, please pop over to WANTED. NOT WANTED. where you can have a smug, self-righteous, cosy giggle at my crumbling self-esteem. You’ll find my self-initiated Job Club, my ridiculous misguided applications for ANY kind of work and my redundancy diary, a revealing look into the day to day life of the lowlife worthless pits of humanity the unemployed. If you are not content and stable with your work/life/domestic situation, then let’s hold hands and stick our tongues out at the rest of the world. But you still have to go read all the stuff.

I’m all done here with this particular saga. I expect you’re all done too. Next logical stop for my readers would be my 2nd Editorial. It offers a bit of a recap, a thankyou, a ‘where the hell next’, and some all-important giggles.